Ponies and Puppies SUCK!

I have just been subjected to the worst pain known to a cynic. My partner for the last several weeks was happy. And, I am not talking about oh what a lovely day. This chick was the type that likes ponies, rainbows, puppies, kittens and thinks everything is wonderful. Like anyone I withheld the silencing sarcasm that would set this korean girl back to the rainy day she needed, until she crossed the line. We were on call in the OB unit and I was elbow deep in retrieving the after birth when the girl started making moose faces at me. All the flowery comments I had to endure and then this. Oh did I mention she was Canadian, another strike. So, I kindly asked to quit with happiness and stay away from me. So, as I sat waiting after the 30hrs call for the attending to show up and give a lecture my partner strolls in and sees me sitting calmly. She says, "It takes more muscles to frown then to smile." That was the last straw. I couldn't take any more of this Patch Adams wannabe. I quickly retorted, "It takes more to say dumb stuff than to keep your mouth shut." It was glorious. The look of bewilderment was as if I had just landed a hay maker right on the chin, TKO. Then off she scurried, I guess the kids at her middle school liked ponies too.

Not Everyone can be a Fireman

I know it has been awhile. I have been tired and lazy. Also, nothing really hilarious has happened that was worth mentioning until today. What happened today was nothing short of a testament to the business of medicine. Medical education today can be summed up as long as you can pay your bills and get past these random check points that have nothing to do with patients, then you too can be a Doctor. Anyways, here is the story....

A new student had shown up earlier in the week, and had been able to avoid the usual pimping from the attending. We were doing an EGD on an young woman who had come into the hospital for anemia, and that is when the glorious moment happened. Our brilliant surgeon had just successfully visited each site and was proceeding to pull out when he stopped and rotated the camera 180 degrees in the stomach. The picture on the monitor then showed the cardiac portion of the stomach along with the EG sphincter. Our attending keenly asked the new the guy "what is that black thing in the stomach?" The new guy replied meekly with "Inferior Vena Cava." It is moments like these that are so fun. You can just sit back and watch a beautiful roast, and just be thankful that it is not you. So, I sat back and waited for my wonderful morning present. However, the surgeon didn't hear him, or if he did the attempted answer was so horrific that he figured a good lashing wouldn't even begin to help this wayward son of Netter.