A lady comes into the clinic, and appears as your typical ghetto person. She is missing most of her teeth, broken sentences, and a list of complaints. It was her first complaint that really got me. Suicidal Thoughts. When I heard that my head snapped to full attention. I put a big gold star by her name, and was like congratulations. You are my first crazy patient. She then proceeded to tell me about the voices, and having them wake her up and talk to her all day. So, like any good dumb doctor I scurried off to my supervisor and reported that I thought there might be a problem with this patient. It was my first TURF, and I was proud.
The next day I was practicing in another clinic which I didn't really think was the ghetto, but I was wrong. A nice twelve year old Mexican girl comes to see me. I carefully skimmed the chart for the notes of previous Ghetto Docs' and to my surprise our little girl had quite a high libido. I was able to inform her about her newly acquired friend N.G. and run another pregnancy test. She was a little disappointed there would not be child in nine months, and I told her she probably should shy away from sex for that period of time too. Or, at least until she became a teenie bopper.
