TIA No Joke for a Neurologist

Well, today was like no other day. I got to the hospital at 4:30, so I could pre-round before my attending showed up at 6am. Things were going smoothly until we got to a Neuro consult on a patient who should have never been there. We had canceled the consult the prior day, which was made by another minion, but that won't stop the non-readers from doing it. Reviewing chart orders is a tough concept to grasp, especially when they change. Anyways, when the giant found out that some little minion had carried out the consult he decided to intervene and discuss the matter with the Neurologist. After conversing about the situation, the giant told the other that it was just a TIA and should not be worry about the situation. However, this did not go over well with the neurologist who did not think that TIAs were a laughing matter. I guess he didn't know that TIA actually means Totally Inappropriate Admission. I of course was leaning against the wall laughing my ass of as the situation unfolded. Seriously, I must be in some need of enjoyment since I found this situation the highlight of my day.

Practicing in the Jungle

I have finally arrived at a Hospital. A place where humanity and decency are left at the door. My day begins way before the hint of sunlight. A time when the monsters are sleeping, nurses are friendly and attendings are sleeping. I scurry through the paperwork of the day before and make my rounds to check on the few patients that I have before the sun shows her face, because I know that when it does all things will change. The hospital is a backwards place. So, thanks Upton Sinclair for your book on hospitals.

One Toke Over the Line Sweet Jesus

Today's lesson was that some people must really lead extremely stressful lives. My prize patient of the day came to me accompanied by her 2 yo little girl. It was time for the mom's routine physical examination, even though she had seen another physician one month prior. I guess you can't get enough medical care, when you are not paying for it. Anyways, I find in her chart that she is experiencing anxiety attacks, and when questioned about it she explains that she has the attacks a couple times a week. Later on, while I am trying to get more of an accurate history, she divulges that she smokes EIGHT BLUNTS a day! I then politely ask, "How the hell can you be having anxiety attacks when you are high enough to walk on the moon?" She then proceeds to tell me about how people make her mad and then she has to rest for a couple hours, because she thinks if she doesn't she will pass out. Seriously, it must be one tough life for an eighteen year old these days who gets free health care and all the other wonderful benefits our government deems necessary to the "under privileged." I figure it must really be demanding and time consuming for her to thank all the people who are working everyday to afford her a life of being "comfortably numb."

Saving Lives and Sharing

So, today started out pretty slow. There were no patients for two hours, which isn't horrible because it allowed me to do other important things like: send emails, check stock and catch up on the constant reading. Around noon the office exploded with patients, and I got to actually use some of the information I have been reading in journals. It was kind of nice to know that I was not wasting my time. The steady stream of sickies slowed down around 3pm when I got my prize case of the day. The patient was coming in for refills, but little did he know that his BP could send Richard Branson to outer space. I finally got to practice some real medicine, and not that boring physical paperwork mumbo jumbo. While saving this man's life, he is having me discuss what the medication is that he should be taking and why he should. He wants to know if it is harmful to his kidney's or liver. I promptly respond that if he doesn't start taking his medication routinely that his liver and kidney's won't be bothering him, and that someone else will be exceedingly happy that he was non-compliant. I think that might have gotten to him, but if not at least I tried. If not for him maybe for the next guy to get to use his organs.

Have You Seen My Lost Hour?

I have been noticing that my days are getting shorter. I must be misplacing an hour or two a day, because I know I used to be able to do a lot more. I am still working about the same amount of time, but I keep finding myself pushing back some of my usual activities to the weekend or days that I don't work. It must be my job. This whole healing business is getting in the way of keeping up with the latest movies, books and frankly life itself. So I think I should put in for another job, however I don't know if the banks would let me. Anyways I think the thieves of my time might be the gnomes, since they have quit stealing my socks (thanks to my new wife's patrol).

Gotta Love the All Knowing and Cynical Attending

You gotta love a cynical guy who tries to make a difference. They are just hilarious to watch as the day progresses. We had a different attending who's outlook on life and medicine was that of pure disgust. It was great. The patients were incompetent, the weather was too cold and boy did he hate being a doctor. His main goal in life was to make it to some beach and chill for the remaining of his days. But, until then he was trudging through the sea of coughes, HTN and Diabetes. All I could do was smile, because he reminded me and what I will probably be like in ten years (lets be realistic 3 years). He was just a hard working guy in a broken system that doesn't reward the ones that try, but gives a golden crown to the sloths. So, who can blame any of us for the way we turn out.

Snake Oil Lectures and Dinner

I attended my first lecture dinner the other night at one of the finest steakhouses in the city. The lecture was on Asthma, but my main focus was on the free steak that I didn't have to pay for, cook and then clean up. I was the youngest free loader by at least fifteen years, but that did not stop me from enjoying a few mixed drinks and chatting about worldly events before the festivities. The first course was delivered and a waiter asked permission to place my napkin. I normally would decline the request, however the previous drinks had dulled my senses and the next thing I knew a guy had his hands in my lap. I guess luxury has its costs. The first course of the meal went without any interruptions, until the speaker began his informal lecture. And, it was at this moment that I realized I was going to be silent for the rest of the evening. While everyone else was taking part in the discussion I was making notes and looking stuff up. I had spent the morning reading the necessary chapter in harrisons', but at dinner I had only a vague idea what they were talking about. Anyways, the rest of meal came and went and I enjoyed every free bite of the one hundred dollar meal I was given.